Anyone who practices social security disability law understands the truth behind this articles subject. For many, waiting for Social Security Disability (SSD) benefits, depending upon your support system, is a time that can be a horrifying and scary experience.
You all have survival skills and many of you are not aware that you have them. Sometimes we do not become aware of them until we are faced with a very serious situation.
Many of you believe that life will "swallow you up" if certain events happened. I think you would be surprised and many of you already realize this as you yourself have survived horrible situations.
I want to give you an example of some survival skills I found in myself that I had no clue were there during a time in my life when I was very ill and my life was falling down all around me.
My point in sharing this is to point out that most of us would feel that we would crumble inside in certain situations but our survival skills kick in and we get through these times.
Patty Fleener shares her experiences for this article.
Let me paint the picture as quickly as I can. I was 39 years old (I'm 47 now). This happened directly before I met my husband. I had applied for SSD 3 times and two times went back to work, not finishing the application process. I had a difficult time "giving up." As a result I accrued many bills.
The third and final time I applied, I was denied temporary funds while waiting for SSD. Strange because I was accepted the first two times but this new psychologist said I could go back to work within one year. Later I learned she said that about everyone and she even wrote in my report that because I was a social worker I would know how to fake an evaluation. She had to amend her evaluation later because the man that referred me advised her that I presented well and advised her of what she missed about me.
Anyway, I had zero money to live on while waiting to see if SSD would accept me and in most cases SSD does not accept people the first time you apply.
I had food stamps and it took awhile to be accepted into the county housing program. I had to find a place to live where the rent was $400. or below and it could not be in the town of Salem where I lived as it was a county program.
I gave plasma at the plasma back and received $5 or $10 up to $20. each time and I could only donate twice per week. I thought I would never do this but I turned my mind around and told myself I was helping others and I was. This was my gas money.
I searched and searched for a place to live for that amount or less. Nothing existed! I had a deadline to meet as I was of course being evicted from my apartment.
Inside I knew there was a real reality that I could be homeless. It was hard to believe, as I was 39 years old, educated, etc., however I was disabled period.
Each morning I woke up and I realized the full extent of the trouble my life was in. I knew very well that I would be homeless if I became weak or fragile, which I truly was. I knew I had to search deep within for any ounce of strength and use it.
When I woke up, inside my head I said to myself "Stand!" I said it to myself very sternly. I saw myself in my mind as someone who was made only of strength and I was powerful and I could get through anything. Any other feeling or thought besides this was totally dismissed because my strength that I imagined within was so strong and powerful it would simply stomp any "lesser feelings."
It is also very important to know that I am a Christian and during this whole time I prayed quite a bit. The thing that assisted me a great deal is the tremendous amount of faith I have in God to come through for me and He did.
Months later I was accepted to SSD and a few months after that my relatives began to come to me. I had to work hard to get my father back as I had really raged at him. It wasn't until he began to hang up on me did I realize that I could not have him in my life unless I treated him with respect. (By the way, I am not recommending this to you parents out there. All of us with the BPD are different and your child may be suicidal when they call. So, it is different with each one of us).
It wasn't until I was safe that I unconsciously began to give up the "warrior" role I worked hard to develop. It took me at least a year after this experience before I really felt safe. I can't tell you how many dreams I have had about this.
The message in this story is that I believe we are designed to meet with hard challenges if we look deep within and BELIEVE that we are warriors.
Though this article may seem extreme to most, for those who have experienced the months waiting for the case to pass from the initial application, reconsideration and finally the long wait for hearing, many of Ms. Fleener's experiences may be all too real.
At MN Disability, attorney Tom Atkinson isn't focused on getting you benefits at the hearing, he does his best to prepare you case from the very beginning in the hopes of an award at the time of initial application. Though this is an admittedly difficult task, his personal attention to your matter from the onset gives you every advantage possible by having a LOCAL Minnesota attorney represent you in your application for Social Security Disability benefits. Contact him today for more information. 651-324-9514 or tom@mndisability.com You can also find out more about his social security disability practice at www.mndisability.com
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